The Story of Us

In eighth grade health class, we were playing genetics 'bingo' something or other and each student had a 4x4 table on a piece of paper. In each cell was written 'has blue eyes' or 'is taller than 6 ft' or 'can't roll their tongue' or another inherited trait. We were supposed to go around the room and find someone with each one of these traits and make them sign a square until each square was filled. A boy came up to me and said "What was your name?" I said Madi. He looked at his chart, wrote down my name and muttered "Madi has a hairy chest." That was the first day Gavin ever talked to me. I fell in love.

After years of "do you like Madi?" from various friends, prank calls, and fake anonymous love letters to his locker, he asked me to dance at a stake dance. I fell in love again when we danced to a stupid song by Martina McBride (yah, I remember).

The first time we held hands was our junior year of high school while watching Cars at my best friend's house. I have never had so many butterflies while holding someone's hand. I remember being a little freaked out about it. It made me fall in love again.

The summer after high school, he had his mission call and wanted to fill his canteen. He took me out on his raft on the golf course pond and kissed me for the first time. I fell in love again. Fell hard! He left on his mission and I cried for days.

A little ways into his mission he stopped writing me and thought the best thing to do was to write me off. That was fun. But at about that time I had another guy at the top of my priority list and I told myself I was stupid for falling so hard for Gavin so many times. I tried to forget about him, knowing he wasn't really into me and he probably never was or would be.

By the time he got home from his mission, I had another boyfriend. I didn't think anything of Gavin's homecoming besides the fact I was excited for my friends to come home. A few weeks after his return, he told me he still had feelings for me. I told him I was going to see what happened with my boyfriend first before I would consider dating him again. Luckily, the next day my boyfriend destroyed any chance of going anywhere with me and we broke up. Gavin took me out and it was just as easy to fall in love with him after his mission as it was before.

Being the realist that I am, I told him I didn't want anything serious because I was going to wait for missionary #2 to get home. When I told him (back in January 2011), he didn't care. Things between Gavin and I got more serious before missionary #2 came home than he or I had intended or expected. After dating for 7 months I told him again that I was going to date this missionary when he got home. The following 6 weeks, between the time I told him my decision and the time the missionary got home, is when I really fell in love with him. Gavin cried. (Sorry if I am embarrassing you now). Not sobbed, just a few tears, but it shocked me. He knew I would be ending things with him soon and that I was thinking about someone else. He treated me like a queen regardless. He took me on family trips with him and told me he loved me even when I didn't say it back. He always made sure I was warm and comfortable and had my doors opened and food paid for. He talked a lot and didn't hide anything, which I knew wasn't like him because I'd known him for 8 years. He made me laugh everyday and included me in everything he did.

Like I promised, we broke up. We stayed broken up for a little over a month while I dated around and cried and prayed about what I should do. It was hard. The hardest part was realizing that I was making it so hard. I knew what I wanted and what I'd always wanted and what I'd always want. I ended things with the other guy and Gavin and I finally kissed again at the end of September 2011. I fell in love again.

I have never been the type of girl who 'wanted' to get married. I always saw it happening in the future but the thought of being married at my age made me sick. I thought rings were chains that tied girls down. I hoped one day I would actually want to be stuck with someone but didn't see the day happening soon.

Early January, Gavin was at my apartment. It was getting late and he said he should go home. All of a sudden I HATED that he was going home. I have hung out with boys and friends before and wanted them to stay later than they should, but nothing like this. Like I HATED that he was leaving. HATED HATED HATED. It was weird. I knew it was weird for me and I was saying things to myself like 'I am just in a mood now, I'm not going to feel like this tomorrow' and I said that for a couple weeks. The feeling never went away. I actually wanted to get married and be with him all the time forever. Once I knew, I knew, and I wanted it so bad.

To be continued... :)