Josh Ritter

Crawl up your trellis and quietly back into your room,

And I'll coast down the length of your drive by the light of the moon.

The next time I see you, a new kind of hello.

Both our hearts have a secret, only both of us know

About the night that I drove you home, Kathleen.

Josh Ritter @ Red Butte Gardens 7/17/2012

The Question

Long Version:

On Saturday (March 24, 2012) I had two lacrosse games up in Salt Lake. Gavin and Brent made it up to my second game then drove me home to Riverton. I asked Gavin what he wanted to do that night and he said he didn't really care. I asked if I should shower and get ready or if it was going to be a 'sweats' sort of night. He said to wear whatever I wanted, but Brent told me I should shower and look OK. Gavin walked me to my door and suggested we go rafting at the golf course pond that night. I said yeah, if it's warm enough, we should go.

I always kind of assumed he'd want to propose to me at the golf course. (Because yes, all eight of you other girls who went there with him, that is our special place.) I had no idea that he had the ring yet or that he had talked to my dad or anything, but when he suggested going to the golf course, I got hopeful that he would pop the question. I kept talking it down to myself because I didn't want to get my hopes up and it didn't make sense because he acted like he didn't have a plan for the night.

He picked me up a few hours later and took me to Olive Garden. Then we went to his house and I talked to his mom while he pumped up the raft and put a blanket in the car. We parked across the street from the golf course and sneakily dodged cars and hopped the fence and headed towards the pond with the raft. We got to the pond and there was no water in the pond! In my head I was thinking "If he is going to propose tonight and wants to do it on the golf course, I don't want him to be disappointed about the pond and I don't want him to wait until there is water here" so I told him I was fine with just hanging out on the green (which was true).

Once or twice before, we had gone rafting on this pond off the Jordan River, where there is a little wooden trail and gazebo and duck feeders. Gavin asked if I wanted to go there. I said no because I got creeped out on the Jordan River trail at night and I didn't want to walk that far and it was getting cold. He was like "I don't remember the pond being that far of a walk" and I argued that it was and that we shouldn't go. He asked "Do you trust me?" I said yes, and we went.

At this point, I wasn't really expecting anything, because Gavin didn't seem to care too much that we couldn't raft at the golf course. He also didn't seem like he had much of a plan for the night. So, we walked down the trail and I turned toward the gazebo/pond path. The little trail was lined with candles and flowers and inside the gazebo was a bouquet of roses.

I smiled and looked at him and he dropped the raft and hugged me then got down on his knee and asked me to marry him. I should have stared longer and really soaked up the image! I said yes quickly and pulled him up and kissed him and hugged him for not long enough. I said yes and he put the beautiful ring on my hand!

His friends Jordan and Brent came walking down the path a few minutes later and took some pictures then left us to raft (float) alone. There was lots of lights in the water that we chased down and picked up before we left. It was perfect. I want to replay it over and over. I love Gavin, I love my ring, and I can't wait for August 16th!

(Because Jordan was a big part of this and he wanted to be in our pictures. Sorry, Brent, we only ended up with a picture of your eye.)

The Story of Us

In eighth grade health class, we were playing genetics 'bingo' something or other and each student had a 4x4 table on a piece of paper. In each cell was written 'has blue eyes' or 'is taller than 6 ft' or 'can't roll their tongue' or another inherited trait. We were supposed to go around the room and find someone with each one of these traits and make them sign a square until each square was filled. A boy came up to me and said "What was your name?" I said Madi. He looked at his chart, wrote down my name and muttered "Madi has a hairy chest." That was the first day Gavin ever talked to me. I fell in love.

After years of "do you like Madi?" from various friends, prank calls, and fake anonymous love letters to his locker, he asked me to dance at a stake dance. I fell in love again when we danced to a stupid song by Martina McBride (yah, I remember).

The first time we held hands was our junior year of high school while watching Cars at my best friend's house. I have never had so many butterflies while holding someone's hand. I remember being a little freaked out about it. It made me fall in love again.

The summer after high school, he had his mission call and wanted to fill his canteen. He took me out on his raft on the golf course pond and kissed me for the first time. I fell in love again. Fell hard! He left on his mission and I cried for days.

A little ways into his mission he stopped writing me and thought the best thing to do was to write me off. That was fun. But at about that time I had another guy at the top of my priority list and I told myself I was stupid for falling so hard for Gavin so many times. I tried to forget about him, knowing he wasn't really into me and he probably never was or would be.

By the time he got home from his mission, I had another boyfriend. I didn't think anything of Gavin's homecoming besides the fact I was excited for my friends to come home. A few weeks after his return, he told me he still had feelings for me. I told him I was going to see what happened with my boyfriend first before I would consider dating him again. Luckily, the next day my boyfriend destroyed any chance of going anywhere with me and we broke up. Gavin took me out and it was just as easy to fall in love with him after his mission as it was before.

Being the realist that I am, I told him I didn't want anything serious because I was going to wait for missionary #2 to get home. When I told him (back in January 2011), he didn't care. Things between Gavin and I got more serious before missionary #2 came home than he or I had intended or expected. After dating for 7 months I told him again that I was going to date this missionary when he got home. The following 6 weeks, between the time I told him my decision and the time the missionary got home, is when I really fell in love with him. Gavin cried. (Sorry if I am embarrassing you now). Not sobbed, just a few tears, but it shocked me. He knew I would be ending things with him soon and that I was thinking about someone else. He treated me like a queen regardless. He took me on family trips with him and told me he loved me even when I didn't say it back. He always made sure I was warm and comfortable and had my doors opened and food paid for. He talked a lot and didn't hide anything, which I knew wasn't like him because I'd known him for 8 years. He made me laugh everyday and included me in everything he did.

Like I promised, we broke up. We stayed broken up for a little over a month while I dated around and cried and prayed about what I should do. It was hard. The hardest part was realizing that I was making it so hard. I knew what I wanted and what I'd always wanted and what I'd always want. I ended things with the other guy and Gavin and I finally kissed again at the end of September 2011. I fell in love again.

I have never been the type of girl who 'wanted' to get married. I always saw it happening in the future but the thought of being married at my age made me sick. I thought rings were chains that tied girls down. I hoped one day I would actually want to be stuck with someone but didn't see the day happening soon.

Early January, Gavin was at my apartment. It was getting late and he said he should go home. All of a sudden I HATED that he was going home. I have hung out with boys and friends before and wanted them to stay later than they should, but nothing like this. Like I HATED that he was leaving. HATED HATED HATED. It was weird. I knew it was weird for me and I was saying things to myself like 'I am just in a mood now, I'm not going to feel like this tomorrow' and I said that for a couple weeks. The feeling never went away. I actually wanted to get married and be with him all the time forever. Once I knew, I knew, and I wanted it so bad.

To be continued... :)

A New Year's Kiss

Dec. 31st, 2004: We danced at a stake dance

Dec. 31st, 2005-Jan 1st, 2006: We both kissed someone else

Dec. 31st, 2006: He and I went to Salt Lake with our other friends for some sort of celebration. I tried desperately all night to get him to touch me in some way, shape, or form. He never did, so I kissed him on the cheek sometime around midnight.

2007: I kissed someone else at a party (someone else who I don't think I even know his name??) We were hanging out before I left for that party.

2008: This New Year's Eve was just after I had talked to him on the phone. He called from the airport and was headed out to serve. I partied with his friends and missed him a lot.

2009-2010: Celibacy for us both.

2010-2011: We hung out with each other all night.... just me and him... no kiss.

"New year's eve is like the kiss cam. It's only cool if you are dating someone or happen to be next to a cute boy you don't even know."

2011, ready to celebrate the coming of 2012: He's on a freaking cruise!!!!!!!!!

There's always next year....

(or is there?)